Musings with Dad

It’s almost Father’s Day (or Fathers’ Day?) and my gift to you is a conversation my dad and I had yesterday on the phone.

A few notes and background info:

  • My mom and I have trouble communicating sometimes due to language barriers. Sometimes I’m genuinely confused by what she is trying to say in English so I have her speak her native language instead, which I do not speak but I understand it fairly well. Why is this important to know? My dad and I typically don’t have a problem, though his native language is also not English, but I think the trouble Mom and I experience ended up flowing into this conversation with Dad.
  • My dad’s hearing isn’t as good as it used to be.
  • I haven’t been keeping up with the NBA finals between the San Antonio Spurs and the Miami Heat.
  • I call my parents almost every week at 8:00pm on Sundays. I’ve done that ever since I left home to go to college.
  • I get my sense of humor from my dad and we used to always watch sports on TV when I was growing up. (Hubby is thankful I’m sure.)

that girl: What are you up to, Dad?

Dad: I’m watching Jimmy Kimmel before basketball. Are you calling early because you’re going to watch the game?

that girl: No, we have some friends who are coming over so I wouldn’t be able to call you later… Who’s playing? What game is it?

Dad: San Antonio and Miami. It’s game 2.

that girl: Who won the first game?

Dad: San Antonio but everyone was complaining about the Heat. [my capitalization]

that girl: What happened?

Dad: The Heat [my capitalization] was too much. That’s why they lost.

that girl: [confused] Wha? I thought the Spurs won, Dad.

Dad: The heat. It was too hot.

that girl: In the coliseum? It was hot in the coliseum?

Dad: It was too hot in the coliseum. I think the air-conditioner was broken.

that girl: So you are saying the heat, as in the temperature? Not the Heat, as in Miami Heat?

Dad: Yeah. Everybody is complaining about the heat.

that girl: Ohhhhh! I was so confused.

Dad: You know what the headline says? “The Heat can’t take the heat.”

 

Good talk, Dad.

I should have remembered that my dad rarely, if ever, refers to sports teams by their mascot. It’s always by location or school. My mistake.

Happy Father’s/Fathers’ Day, everyone!

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Adventures in Word Association

The hubby and I were watching the news and they were talking about road prep for the upcoming snowfall. The video showed the chemical they put on the roads to keep the asphalt from freezing over.

hubby: What is that stuff called? It’s something that starts with a c… chlor…?

that girl: Chloride? Sodium Chloride? That’s salt, right? NaCl.

hubby: Nah. It’s cla- something. Like… calamity.

that girl: Calamity? What in the world?!… Clomid… Chlamydia… Chloride? Chloroform? Chloraseptic?

hubby: It’s on the tip of my tongue… Clo…? Cala…?

that girl: Brine?

hubby: Yeah! Brine! That’s it!

that girl: Oh my gosh! hahahahahahaha. Brine! It’s freaking brine! hahahaha. Starts with a c, huh?… Brine. Hilarious.

Christmas List

hubby: So what do you want for Christmas?

that girl: Nothing really.

hubby: Would you like something for the kitchen?

that girl: No. I’m not Betty Crocker and I’m not a wife from the ’50s.

hubby: Would you like a griddle?

that girl: A griddle? You seem to want a griddle. I don’t want a griddle.

hubby: I want you to have a griddle.

that girl: I want you to have three new pairs of women’s shoes.

hubby: What size would you buy?

that girl: It doesn’t matter. I want a griddle as much as you want women’s shoes.

Annnd scene! Happy Holidays and whatnot.

Happiness Perspective

I love receiving emails from the hubby. We’re “old fashioned” that way and don’t post things on each others’ Facebook walls or anywhere public. But! Sometimes the things he emails me are so awesome, I have to share.

Today’s email: “we are out of bacos.”

That wasn’t even the email message. That was the subject line. Seriously. He is ridiculous.

And, yet, I was still happy to get the email. It made me smile just to see his name in my email. It made me laugh to think he felt the urgency to email instead of just writing it on the grocery list.

Happiness is all about perspective. 🙂

Mystery Voice

hubby: I heard a song on the radio that I really liked. It was really good. I thought it was Rihanna.

that girl: When was this?

hubby: This morning. It was a good song but then Rick Dees told me it was Justin Bieber.

that girl: Oh yeah! Hahaha. That song. I like that one, too. How does it go again?”

hubby: As long as you love me…

that girl: [disappointed] Yeah, I didn’t realize it was Bieber either.

hubby: I still think it’s a good song.

(10 minutes later Bieber is introduced on the AMAs. hubby says “yes!” And then, “Is this Rihanna?”)

Friday Morning Funny

that girl, playing it straight: Where’s my present?

hubby, still waking up: Huh?

that girl: My present. Where is it?

hubby, understandably confused: Was I supposed to get you a present?

that girl: It’s World Teachers’ Day. Where’s my present?

hubby: There’s an apple in there on the counter [pointing towards the kitchen].

that girl, genuinely amused: hahahahahahahahahah. That’s hilarious!

Annnd scene! Woo! Too funny. That hubby. He can be funny at all hours of the day.

One-liner #080312

“I saw some pee-pee today,” I said. Then, thinking he would think I meant the dog had an accident in the house, I clarified. “I saw porn.”

The hubby swivels around in his chair, waiting on more of the story.

“I was trying to set up my Flickr account.”

Always quick to make a joke, the hubby says, “And you went to f*cker.com instead?”

Oh gracious!

Then I busted out laughing. “I have to blog this immediately.”

Sorry, readers, there is no “rest of story.”