I Got Nuthin’

Sometimes I write just to feel like I’m being productive with something. Anything. As is the case now. I need that feeling instead of what I’ve been feeling lately: anxious.

I’ve been feeling really anxious about my schoolwork. Pursuing a Masters (or is it master’s? Master’s? masters? eh.) was never a goal of mine but here I am. And now, I’m. Stuck.

I’m about to finish this dang thing but I can’t get over one huge, looming hurdle: my final project.

Huge.

Looming.

What terrible ways to describe the end to a significant accomplishment in my life. For the past however many semesters, I’ve held a demanding full-time job that has just about killed me, maintained a 4.0 (until last semester, that is) in my masters program, and learned a thing or two about journalism education. To be this close to finishing is a triumph in and of itself.

Shouldn’t I be excited? Shouldn’t I be seeing unicorns and rainbows? If only.

Sigh. I’m already behind in submitting my initial proposal to my committee chair because I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I am drawing all sorts of blanks about what to do for my final project. I want to focus on something I believe in, something I enjoy, something modern, something I think others can benefit from but I keep coming up empty because others have already beaten me to the punch. (As in, no. I shouldn’t do anything about reporting using social media because that’s the project from a former student that we are given as the “gold star” of final projects.)

My chair says I should attempt to answer a question… create something that will add to the existing knowledge… further the knowledge in a particular area.

How do I do that? I feel like everything is already out there and there isn’t much that I can add to the mix.

ugh. Help me Rhonda… or anyone else.

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