Take Care of the Bill

The hubby and I eat out quite a bit, and for the majority of our years together (What am I, 80?), he took care of the bill. And by “take care of the bill,” I mean, he takes out his credit card and signs the receipt. He doesn’t necessarily “pay” for the meal. Like most married people, we share our money.

After 17 years of taking care of the bill, the hubby has had enough. He has decided that I should begin taking care of it, which I don’t want to do. It’s been seventeen years, people! I’m not about to take over this duty – at least not without a fight, so I decided to come up with guidelines for when I would take care of the bill. Unfortunately, it started to get tough to remember the guidelines, so you know what the hubby did? He typed out a list of Restaurant Rules! Hilarious, right? When we went out to eat the other day, he took out a little crooked slip of paper from his wallet with the following information:

Restaurant rules

  • Person with the higher total pays
  • The entire meal is included in figuring total price — desserts, drinks, appetizers, etc.
  • If tied, the female pays.

It is just me or is this really amusing? (Ha! The female pays. He doesn’t speak this way in real life.)

I think I have the upper hand because I usually eat chicken, which is typically cheaper, and I rarely order anything to drink aside from water. (Will the hubby finally start drinking water to avoid paying the bill??) And I usually am too full to have dessert. Win, win! Do you have married people dating rules? Do share. 🙂

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4 Responses to “Take Care of the Bill”

  1. kristen Says:

    hmmm….
    can “mr. standingby” create a list of laundry rules? i could definitely use those!

    • that girl Says:

      We have one laundry rule: do your own. haha. It’s worked for years. He tends to throw kitchen towels in with his stuff. He’s better at remembering to do it, but we both take care of bed sheets and the dog’s stuff. (Yes, the dog has laundry.)

  2. thedailydish Says:

    HAHHAHAHHHH!! That’s hysterical! Please for the love of almighty tell me he doesn’t have a “tip calculator” too. That would truly be a sign of coming old age.

    We don’t eat out often for dietary reasons (I’m not supposed to eat SALT- yes, that is bad). Also we are on a tight budget so no fun for us. That said, when we do eat out my husband often “takes care of it” but I guess I sign the bills too. The one divided labor thing we have w/ regard to food though is for ordering IN. My husband for some unknown reason HATES ordering food over the phone. He always insists that I call and order and then he’s fine w/ going and picking it up. He also chokes when we pull up at any drive thru (which fortunately we very rarely do) – but it’s like there’s too much PRESSURE related to the order. Never fails to crack me up!


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