The Loop

Text-messaging. Facebook. Twitter. Friends or foes?

I’m starting to think the answer is “foe.” My friend (a legitimate, face-to-face friend) and I were talking the other day about how the personal approach to communication seems to be creeping ever so closely to extinction. I don’t know if it’s laziness or if it’s just a change in our culture but I’m not quite ready to deal with it.

I have a few friends that I consider to be in my inner circle. Actually, I call this group of friends “the loop.” As in, they are in the loop and they usually know what big stuff is going on with me. Then there are my other friends that exist on the outskirts of the loop with various levels of access to my life and me to theirs. With friends outside the loop, I don’t feel bad or shunned that I am not in the first level of their circle of communication. It’s OK with me that I don’t learn things about them via a personal phone call or even an email. It’s just the way it is. But when it comes to the loop, I expect to be in it. And I am offended when I’m not. It upsets me when I hear about a big event in their life via Facebook. It just seems so impersonal, as though I’m not worth that little bit of extra effort. Maybe it’s just a blow to my ego, thinking that I mean more to someone than I actually do.

So what’s the hierarchy of communication these days? I won’t even put a letter at the top of the list. Those just don’t happen anymore. Could it be phone call, email, text message, blog, Facebook, and then Twitter? In my mind, the less you can broadcast to, the higher on the list…. Sigh. Share your two cents with me. What do you think of all of this stuff? And, please, feel free to write more than 140 characters. This isn’t Twitter.

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3 Responses to “The Loop”

  1. Stephanie of Stopbouncing Says:

    hmmm. Quandary.
    It really depends what the information is and who gets it… ‘sno secret, I don’t have a plethora of IRL friends.
    My Partner in Crime and I text because we are NOT phone girls.
    Vicarious Baby Momma and I call because she doesn’t have reception, as she lives in the country.
    Grandma & Grandpa still get cards and letters; self-explanatory.
    Any neat news tends to go through facebook email as I don’t have everyone’s email. After the word is out, I status.
    Not-Enough-Fodder-for-a-WPost gets twittered.
    Goodness, I’m complicated.

    And I agree, it’s very friend or foe… all this technology…

  2. Annie Says:

    Oh, the times, they are a-changing…

    I was actually talking to my boy the other night about how I actually feel CLOSER to some people now that we are friends on Facebook. And I’m not talking periphery people – I mean my Dad, the maid of honor from my wedding. We live long-distance, and don’t have a phone relationship. I think Facebook has actually served as a bonding mechanism for us.

    Now…did I announce my engagement to them via Facebook? No. I think the closer the relationship to you, the more personal the communication is. I don’t think there’s anything really wrong with that.

    I’ve fallen out of ‘like’ with Twitter lately. It’s just not that interesting to me anymore.

  3. nat @ book, line, and sinker Says:

    i haven’t joined the facebook frenzy for two reasons–my students would hunt me down in a nanosecond* AND i keep up with the one person from high school that i’m still interested in talking to.

    i twitter only for my book blog and tweet only when i post something new (maybe 3x each week). i don’t tweet my daily life–i have book publishers, bloggers, and authors who follow my feed and i’m sure they aren’t interested that i’m sitting in traffic or something. i think twitter can be a valuable marketing tool for promoting certain things but i wouldn’t use it as a play-by-play of my day-to-day.

    *i work in a more conservative school and the administrators encourage students not to have facebooks. it would be bad if i had one when i spend half my day telling them they shouldn’t have one. đŸ™‚ instead, i blog under a pen name. mwa ha ha.


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