Another Thing that I am Not

So you may already know that I am not afraid of clowns and I am not athletic. Another thing I am not is a good cook.

I have improved over the years through trial and error, but generally speaking, I’m not a good cook. I have burned bacon in a microwave, and I have set off the smoke detector in our house multiple times. Part of my problem is that I don’t have the patience to hover over pots and pans for more than 2 minutes. And isn’t that a major component of cooking? The observation and the tending to? I just don’t like doing that part. Chopping, sure. Seasoning, eh, OK. Stirring, fine. Flipping, alright. Hovering, no thanks.

This has resulted in a number of problems for me while in the kitchen. Pots boil over. Singeing (is that a word?) sounds emanate from the kitchen. Utensils fall to the stove top. For a regular person this might sound absurd, but for me, it’s quite normal.

I also have trouble with ingredients. This, too, is a major component of cooking. A lot of times I just don’t have the right ingredients to make something but I try it anyway. I like to experiment because, gosh, with how many hours of the Food Network I’ve watched, I have to have picked up on something, right? This is why things come out dry or poorly seasoned or not as pretty as the picture in the book, but at least they are edible.

Somehow in spite of all this, we have managed to survive. It’s probably because we eat out a lot. 🙂 I have successfully made the following non-microwavable or from-a-packet meals:

  • Spaghetti (You have MAJOR issues if you can’t do this.)
  • Chicken pasta thing with cheese (I don’t know what it’s called really. I just cook the chicken, cook the pasta, mix it with some spaghetti sauce, sprinkle some cheese over the top and melt it in the oven.)
  • Fried Rice
  • Teriyaki Chicken
  • Chicken/Beef Stir Fry
  • Grilled Chicken/Pork/Steak (though the hubby does most of the work here)
  • Fajitas
  • Lasagna (a recipe one of the kids gave me from his mom! I almost screwed up the sauce though. And I’ve only made it once.)

I’d love to say that the list goes on and on, but it doesn’t. And sadly, I’m not even eligible for this Food Network casting call. Apparently, I’m not hopeless enough.

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2 Responses to “Another Thing that I am Not”

  1. curlywurlygurly Says:

    lol! i share your pain. i dont like to cook either and have experienced many of the same problems (smoke alarms, pots boiling over, etc.).

    i can make some of the things you can make! my major problem is that i don’t like most ingredients…and if i don’t like something, i omit it. my recipes are pretty tasteless. i don’t like pepper, garlic, onions, spices, and much, much more. 🙂

  2. that girl Says:

    How did you survive meals in New Orleans? Weren’t the dishes spicy?


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